Belonging: Belonging is a motivation I’ve long yearned for but only recently acquired. I never fit into any social groups growing up. I talked to people from a diverse selection of social groups, but I never found one I could identify with. Today, I feel like I fit into the college community. Being educated on topics gives me a feeling of fitting in when I join in on conversations either virtually or in public. Being able to communicate on a mutual level gives me the foundation I need to make a positive impact on those around me and, in turn, the world.

Understanding: Understanding myself and others has profoundly changed my worldview. I used to be angry at myself for not coping with adversities better. I used to be angry at those around me for not knowing how to help and I was angry at the circumstances life dealt me. By gaining an understanding of human behaviors, I was able to approach situations with empathy. Perspective taking has helped me immensely. Further, understanding that I shouldn’t be blamed for not learning to cope has helped me forgive myself and become happy with me. This understanding allows me to advocate for myself and others to create positive change.

Controlling: Much of my life has felt out of control. In adulthood, I’ve gained comfort in letting things flow rather than trying to control them. As someone who is heavily tattooed, I have a disadvantage in the job market. For this reason, I need to compensate with my performance, which gives me motivation to perform efficiently. I cannot control what others think when they see me, but I can control how I portray myself on paper, which is why I strive to maintain a near 4.0 GPA, even with a job and children in my full-time care. Controlling my output will help me advocate for social progress as I implore others to look deeper than appearance.

Enhancing Self: You cannot pour from an empty cup: an adage I have to remind myself when juggling work, school, and parental duties. I strive to be a good role model for my children, which involves teaching them healthy habits. Another adage I admire is “monkey see, monkey do”. I understand that instead of telling my kids how to react, interact, and cope themselves, I have to model the behaviors I wish to see. I go to counseling to work on my own coping skills so I can exemplify good communication to my children. My progress shines through them when they say things like “be nice to yourself mom, you’re only human”. My motivation to improve myself inspires others to be better too, which can move mountains in the social change realm.

Trusting: Although I work extensively on learning healthier habits, learning to trust has been the most difficult obstacle for me to overcome. I don’t have a small community of people that I trust outside of my children and husband, but I have come to trust in the ways of life. I trust that things have a way of working out like they should, even if it feels the opposite at times. I trust that I’m on a good path in my life. I trust in the progress I’ve made. And I trust that I’ll someday learn to trust others and build a community. I believe this aspect of my social change identity would help immensely in bringing positive change to fruition. I’m not there yet, but I trust that I will be, one day.

The effects of social changes can be discouraging, exhausting, and painful at times. Having knowledge of the five core social motives can help me refocus my efforts and approach the changes with more optimism. Belonging to a community in which I understand my place in and the others within it while controlling my reactions and performance in ways that align with self-improvement will allow me to trust in the process more easily. My social change identity gives me meaning and purpose and keeping the knowledge of these motivations in mind will help me accomplish big things.

References

SNHU. (n.d.). A Review of Susan Fiske 5 Core Social Motives [PDF]. https://learn.snhu.edu/content/enforced/1650765-PSY-491-15436.202456-1/course_documents/PSY%20491%20A%20Review%20of%20Susan%20Fiske%205%20Core%20Social%20Motives.pdf?ou=1650765